I welcome you to my world
hi
hi
+ Over the mountains and the sea
wont take nothing from nobody
it's no secret, i still can't seem to find my mojo.my passion is dying by the second.
my white flag is raising.
i told the mister today and he said well sometimes, we have to do things we don't like
and why spend my bond being sour about it when i can suck it up and enjoy while it last.
okay i get it but i love the job. just not everything else that comes with it
and with me being a very practical thinker, i find it very hard to motivate myself to give my best. that kinda sucks knowing im not being a good worker.
the other day i went to the living well workshop, with my dear sisters maya and sera
they made us do this timeline of key events of our life then we were asked to categorize these events to social, community, spiritual, professional, family. Guess what?! 80 percent of mine went to professional. with social, family and community being EMPTY. :( he told us, we just saw the emphasis of our life, the things we do everyday. so what do we really want? what is our PURPOSE? is it this?
(one of the major reasons im even more de-motivated because i know my job is URGH.)
i guess, a year ago work was everything. to be honest all this while i treated it like a good escape.
all those long hours were better than fights, unhappy faces at home.
but now, things are a little different. i still don't wish to stay but i have more reasons to not leave
i want time, for my family that i'm trying to open up to. Of course i will never tell them the truths, i intend to keep it a dark secret and let it die with me. i hope none of my confidantes ever spill it out even after i die.
now, i grumble at every second of work that has to be done at unofficial hours.
rants aside, i'm good.
mister says im getting thinner.
I AM?
i havent been checking the scales. because looking at it either gives me a heart attack or make me feel full
haha you get the picture, last checked it was 50kg.
managed to spend some time with maya and noor for two evenings.
and well, i am so glad things are turning out better than expected.
despite noor being annoying, i can see that he understands me and maya's friendship
and that he appreciates my being there for her. simply because he still let us meet up and even joins us and get to know more about me. and im glad i now have two bestfriends!
the holidays are already coming to an end.
and i still have to tons of work to finish.
remind me again why i'm convinced i do not want to be a preschool teacher in future?
oh, goodbye.
till the next post.
xoxo